Tuesday, 29 June 2010

Dignitas Gift Vouchers Now Available!

I am happy to announce that I have made arrangements with Dignitas, and Wrath of Sumo Gift Vouchers may now be used to give irritating co-workers, noisy neighbours, over-enthusiastic council employees, or late-paying clients a dignified end.




definately not stolen from the Icetwice blog

No more heroes at Halliwells

Harsh but fair I reckon

The Lawyer

Thursday, 24 June 2010

From Obo the Clown re Christine Bleakley and the BBC

And for £450,000 a year, I'd be expecting arse to mouth, three-ways and a tongue-bath for my cock, on demand. What the cunting fuck is the BBC smoking that they think £450,000 a year is worth it for a medium-grade sofa decoration?

Fucking twats, they really don't fucking get it, do they?
If you disagree with this assessment then kindly go directly to your bathroom cabinet and tip the contents of every bottle in the cabinet down your throat. There is no other hope for you.

Tuesday, 22 June 2010

Litigation Fail

National Pork Board orders cease and desist to makers of canned Unicorn Meat.


at Thinkgeek here

Monday, 21 June 2010

(Super) Tits are Awesome

So, by now we all know that crazy girls can kip at Dread Fortress Sumo. They might not get away, but they are welcome to bed down. Anywhose, I have a little crush on the above Kitty Lea, not only can she shoot fire but she's a model/actress/DJ. Awesome.

Fcuking People

Breeders whining on "oh mothers need state support because they care for the next generation blah blah fcuking blah"

You get child benefit if you are on £58,000? what the fuck?! first off, nobody holds a gun to your head and says "have a baby" second, what the fcuk is the difference between some wannabe aristo middle England bint squatting in her thatched cottage thinking I'll have a kid and the twenty something young professional slogging it on a 16 hour day will pick up the bill. I'm fcuking special! I deserve it!

Oh and if it doesn't work straight away, I'll get IVF on the NHS! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!

Fcuking women!

'Digital divide' efforts counter-productive, say profs

Essentially, giving poor kids laptops sounds good, they can do homework and they learn the skills they'll need in the nightmare call centre future that the powers that be have planned for the UK, unfortunately turns out they just watch cartoons and get thick.

from the Register, here

Tuesday, 15 June 2010

Anna Raccoon’s Pet Labour Troll

bit partisan but fcuking funny, from http://www.annaraccoon.com/

Interview with Andrew Vietze, author of the book Becoming Teddy Roosevelt: How a Maine Guide Inspired America’s 26th President

At the Art of Manliness. Podcast

GCHQ bans the Iphone

GCHQ is the UK's low profile version of America's uber shady NSA. It does all the spying on US citizens that the US is prohibited from doing itself due to the constitution and thus is sub contracted to the UK. It's what they actually mean when they say special relationship. 


Anywhose GCHQ has decided the Blackberry is better protected then the Iphone, can't have some retard downloading the uber cool "tell china what the price of the banks is" ap can we. 


from the Register here.

Tits are awesome (world cup edition)

N.B. never had rampant nationalism been such a handicap, there must be about a million pics of busty girls in England get up which I just cannot bring myself to put up. 

whatdotheyknow.com

Whatdotheyknow.com is essentially a website for making Freedom of information requests of UK public bodies. Problem is UK public bodies hate it, hate it, hate it, possibly more than they hate FOI requests themselves. Why do they hate them? well because they automatically publish responses for all to see and search in future, in theory saving public bodies time and money as people don't keep making the same request time and time again. 


Any whose the point of the wrong unintelligible ramble is that the House of Commons has just been slapped down by the information commissioner and told to play nice (here). Hopefully that is another shady cloak of secrecy stripped from the traditionally morose and evasive UK Executive sector. 

Want!

Dear The US

Piers Khutny Morgan to take over from Larry King(?) here


Iraq, Afghanistan, Korea, The BP cripple fight, the long Bhutan death march to the White House that is the American elections. All is forgiven, on the proviso that he never comes back to the UK and he ends up in a shallow Nevada grave. 

Monday, 14 June 2010

Tits are awesome

Appeal by the Red Cross

It has been announced that Prof. Urs Meier of the International Committee of the Red Cross has commenced the latest of his groundbreaking investigations into human sexuality.

This series of experiments is to do with sexual inadequacy, and volunteers are actively being sought over the next few weeks.



The Red Cross has appealed for all men with unusually small penises to identify their availability to participate by displaying white cloths with red crosses on their cars.



Tuesday, 8 June 2010

Oh Hull not you too, you used to be my hero

Who am I going to emulate now, to realise my dream of being a malevolent law firm Partner that screams day and night about people working their fingers to the marrow so my kids can live like Victorian plantation owners!


seriously, Twitter? What's next, maybe that Pink Iphone you've had your eye on? or a new fluffy dressing gown ? or even, even, fabric softener!


http://twitter.com/Whataboutparis

If it's not Litigation it's not Law

Ran across this piece. Like it. Like it a lot. 


‘Contemporary world, International pace-setting, blah blah blah…impressive phrases that corporate lawyers deploy to conceal their cowardice in the face of real cerebral battle…Litigation is the ultimate test of your legal abilities. We did not major in business negotiations; we are trained gladiators for the intriguing clash of legal minds in the temples of justice... As far as Mother Justice is concerned, we are her legitimate children, corporate lawyers are strays…’

The Rings of Earth

So blatantly we were lied to by the previous government about how everyone was loving ID cards

The Register has poured scorn on the ID shoving muppets here.


Essentially, back in March Ministers were making all kinds of mad claims, 10,000 cards issued, 1000 applications per week. But it turns out only 13,200 cards were ever issued, 6000 of which were in the Manchester pilot area.

Tits are awesome

Dear HR

Did you honestly think it was a good idea to raise any queries or refer it someone when 3 partners, 4 associates and the only competent filex in the firm, all from the same team put in holiday request forms!


This will not end well for you fcuks!

Tuesday, 1 June 2010

Fcuk Off Blunkett!

The Register is reporting that David Blunkett, a man who has struggled against blindness and triumphed over a tremendous handicap to still be an utter khunt, is thinking about suing HMG for the £30 he spent on his ID card.

As the register rightly points out this was Blunkett's big plan, well along with machine gunning rioting prisoners, and he has of course a lot to lose since he had been on the board of Entrust, the Spanish ID card producer, that would have likely been in the bidding for the UK ID card contract.

The Register

Tits are awesome