Tundra Rap

Howard Moon: The arctic has no respect for fashion, Vince. You know, never take the tundra lightly. It can drive a man insane. You know what it is about this place, that gets people mad?


Vince Noir: Not really.

Howard Moon: Have a look through there, what do you see?

Vince Noir: [looks through binoculars] Nothing.

Howard Moon: Exactly. It's the nothingness... the whiteness... the endless... ness. Stretching on beyond the human imagination. Desolation of the soul. Oh my Gooooooooooood!

[raps]

Howard Moon: Ice flow, nowhere to go / Ice flow, nowhere to go / Lost in the blinding whiteness of the tundraaaaaa / Check him out.

[Vince dances]

Howard Moon: They call him the shrew! Arms in short, then with the claw!

Vince Noir: I'm little Johnny Frostbite, moving around / Freezing you up, freezing you down / Like an icicle / Coming in your tent in the pink light, scissorbite/

Vince Noir, Howard Moon: Arctic death!

Vince Noir: Infinite night!

Howard Moon: Call me Tundra Boy / Cause I move like an arctic

Vince Noir, Howard Moon: Lizard!

Howard Moon: When the blizzard strikes / I disappear like a pipe dream

Vince Noir, Howard Moon: All that's left is the gleam!

Howard Moon: On a tent peg

Vince Noir, Howard Moon: Boosh, Boosh / Stronger than a moose / Don't lock your door or we'll come through your rooftop / Stop, look around, take your mind off the flow / Cause the Boosh is loose / And we're a little bit raaaaw! /Ice flow, nowhere to go / Ice flow, nowhere to go / Lost in the blinding whiteness of the tundraaaa!

Howard Moon: ...yeah?

Vince Noir: All right! Proved your point, in song format!

Howard Moon: Yeah, well maybe you'll take this place a bit more seriously now.