Wednesday, 29 February 2012

Jimmy Carr & Frankie Boyle at the Apple Store part 1 of 4

On This Day

- March 2 (Canada) -- Canadians believe that we should lose a day instead of gaining an extra one.
  • 0000 - 29th of Feb is invented to piss off kids worldwide who were born on this day, just for the hell of it.
  • 1818 - February 30 had been bombed by Spongebob. Now it doesn't exist anymore.
  • 1900 - The whole world panics since the day seems to be missing.
  • 1948 - Ken Foree is born
  • 1948 - Canadians decide to mock Americans by reducing the number of days to 364. This leads to the American-Canadian War.
  • 1966 - Al Gore invents the letter "B"
  • 1978 - Ken Foree rises to superstardom in Dawn of the Dead at the age of 30 and then realizes he's only 7 years old.
  • 1996 - Ken Foree punishes Kenan for forgetting his birthday again.
  • 1999 - The Power Rangers got trapped in a large pizza and the trapped the pizza in themselves.
  • 2000 - Ken Foree's Birthday is declared a national holiday; the uproar caused by this forces Kenan and Kel into cancellation.
  • 2004 - George W. Bush postpones the next Febuary 29th until 2008, France goes on strike.
  • 2006 - President Kerry realizes a) that he did not win the election, and b) that today is actually March 1.
  • 2008 - George W. Bush postpones the next Febuary 29th until 2012.
  • 2008 - Uncyclopedia celebrates its first leap year. Awww, and I remember when it was just a little tyke in diapers...
  • 2009 - President Clinton travels to Canada and can't figure out what day it is... and to make it worse, it's NOT a leap year!!!
  • 2012 - 40-yr-old kid celebrates his 10th birthday.

Sunday, 12 February 2012

Greater Manchester police raise Jamie Oliver alert level to Severe

A GMP spokesman said: “The Jamie Oliver threat level to Manchester is severe, which means that an appearance by Oliver in the area is almost certain.”
“We have increased security within the city centre and we’re working with any bars, restaurants, supermarkets and other locations known to be favoured by Oliver to ensure that their staff remain vigilant.”
“As a precaution, however, we’ve closed all delis and organic food suppliers in the Manchester area for the next seven days. This is standard procedure following credible information that pertains to an Oliver appearance.”

Wednesday, 8 February 2012

Bonuses are Bollocks, stop wasting your time paying them

Money is not an issue once you earn enough to be comfortable......or rather it becomes a different issue.

It's not money to them (them being footballers, bankers, CEOs or fcuking wonks) anymore. It's a social marker. It will always drive ever upwards as the individuals in high-paying industries seek to outdo each other. We know where this goes: football clubs that are ready to collapse despite being at the peak of their international popularity. A banking sector which took unacceptably risks and brought the world economy to its knees.

The research all points away from financial incentives. Instead it suggests that employees need three things: autonomy, mastery and purpose. The need to self-improve is what motivates really talented people. If you don't believe that, take a look at the free-to-use software made by engineers. Look at the success of Linux, or Apache, or Wikipedia, as highly-skilled workers use their free time to make something which is then given away.

Bonuses do not improve performance. They worsen it. The banking sector's track record is the proof which defeats its own arguments.
and Performance and Productivity are what we need if we are to compete with the eastern economies determined to drag themselves out of the mire their rotten backwards ways got them into back in the 1700s.

Friday, 3 February 2012

On Freedom

When men can freely communicate their thoughts and their sufferings, real or imagined, their passions spend themselves in air, like gunpowder scattered upon the surface – but pent up by terrors, they work unseen, burst forth in a moment, and destroy everything in its course. Let reason be opposed to reason, and argument to argument, and every good government will be safe.
Thomas Erskine

On Facebook

"It's almost as if Facebook has discovered lumps of coal for the first time, discovered that this new thing is highly combustible in a predictable way - and decided to set up in the snowman-dressing business. They're perfect for the eyes."
Andrew Orlowski - El Reg