Wednesday, 28 April 2010

Gratuitous Battleship Porn


Theodore Roosevelt says

Don't hit at all if it is honorably possible to avoid hitting; but never hit soft. Theodore Roosevelt 

Tits are awesome

What would you do if you were the PM? (or President)

I’d love to spill a lot of specifics about free trade or habeus corpus, or the founding fathers, etc and the like but I’m really not that bright. All my reasons would be selfish ones – and rightfully so as it seems that a lot of other people don’t seem to give a shit about personal liberties. I’d like to have built my deck and studio without some local building inspector walking around my property like a prison search telling me that I need to have a smaller handrail on the stairs that children can grip – even though I hate children and wouldn’t let them in my house. I’d like to do mushrooms in Death Valley without the paranoia of federal park rangers killing my journey. I’d like to be a small business person without having to be a full-time accountant to appease the IRS. I’d like to wear shoes with laces in the airport. I could go on
Doug Stanhope

Tuesday, 27 April 2010

On Litigation

Litigation is the pursuit of practical ends, not a game of chess.
Felix Frankfurter quotes (American Jurist, 1882-1965)

The A - Z of Awesomeness!

Monday, 26 April 2010

On Freedom

Human history begins with man's act of disobedience which is at the very same time the beginning of his freedom and development of his reason. 
Erich Fromm - Psychoanalysis and Religion

Conscription for the Cameron Youth rolled out

Hmmm, dropped the 'Voluntary' kind of early didn't he.
It's nice to know you are less fcuked with a hung parliament than with a slightly different jack boot on your neck.

Tits are awesome

Dear Scrounging Airlines

You cannot suck in air through your teeth, mutter something to passengers stuck in an airport on the other side of the world about it being force majeure, nothing to do with you, would love to help but sorry you book a flight you take the risk of this happening, go speak to your equally useless and uppity insurance syndicate.

And then go bleating to the Governement asking for a bailout cause the nasty ash grounded your planes and cost you money.

Get Fcuked!

Tuesday, 20 April 2010

This Blog is missing something...

What would a Conservative 'Big Society' type Country look like?

It would look like Iran, and what, you ask, is going down in sunny Iran that is so bad?
Iranian cleric 'blames quakes on promiscuous women'
Fat horrifically scarred men like have nothing if it were not for promiscuous (and very drunk) women you fcuks!

Nor is this a million miles away from the constant "oooh, got to have family, got be family focused, you don't have 16 kids, oh dear, no subs for you and pariah auto paedo status for you then son" coming out of Tory HQ.

Piss bricks

Monday, 19 April 2010

You hear this a lot just now "Oh, but, Fcuking Labour ruined my life, yeah but no but the Khunting Tories, they ruined my life!"

“If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn't sit for a month.”
 Theodore Roosevelt 

Sunday, 18 April 2010

You Iphone gimp fcuks have gone too far!

This is why you don't have a girlfriend, no! not because there is not a 'girlfriend app' yet!, what the fcuk is wrong with you. because of this fcuking nonsense!

Tits are awesome

The fact that she has her own gun too is just a cheeky bonus

Manchester....the belly and guts of the Nation

I might not go as far as Orwell but if you are exiled from your homeland there are worse places to end up (fucking London, the regional economy masquerading as a national economy for 1)

The planning for a new Town Hall began in 1863. After an investigation of suitable sites, including Piccadilly, the site chosen for the new town hall was an oddly shaped triangle facing onto Albert Square. The choice of location was influenced by a desire to provide a central, accessible, but relatively quiet site in a respectable district, close to Manchester's banks and municipal offices, next to a large open area, suitable for the display of a fine building.

A competition was held to design the Town Hall. Of the 137 entries in open competition for the design, Waterhouse's design was chosen, mainly for his ingenious planning, and he was appointed as architect on 1 April 1868. The foundation stone of the new Town Hall was laid on 26 October 1868 by the Lord Mayor of Manchester, Robert Neill. Construction took nine years, used fourteen million bricks, and cost £775,000 (£53.5 million as of 2010). The Town Hall was opened by Lord Mayor Abel Heywood, who had championed the project, on 13 September 1877, after Queen Victoria's refusal to attend the opening.

The building exemplifies the Victorian Gothic revival style of architecture, using themes and elements from 13th-century Early English Gothic architecture. The choice was influenced by the wish for a spiritual acknowledgement of Manchester's late medieval heritage in the textile trade of the Hanseatic league and also an affirmation of modernity, the fashionable neo-Gothic style being preferred over the classical architecture favoured in neighbouring Liverpool. The exterior, faced with hard sandstone quarried near Bradford, Yorkshire, known as "Spinkwell stone",  is decorated with sculptures of important figures in Manchester's history. The interior is faced with multi-coloured terracotta by Gibbs and Canning Limited. The painted ceilings were provided by Best & Lea of Manchester, who had also provided the ceilings in the Natural History Museum, London, also designed by Alfred Waterhouse.

On Liberty

I think that every true reformer, every real friend of liberty, will agree with me in saying that if we must erect safeguards, they should be rather for the security of the individual than of the mass, and that our chiefest care must be to train the majority to respect the rights of the minority, to prevent the claims of the few from being trampled under foot by the caprice or passion of the many.
Richard Cartwright in the Legislative Assembly, Canada, March 9, 1865

Germany offers aid to Poland

Following the aircraft crash that killed virtually the entire political and military establishment of Poland yesterday, neighbouring Germany has offered to help the ex-communist nation during its hour of need by taking responsibility for the Polish government, army, legal system and administrative structure.
The crash, which has been hailed by many as proof that flying around in ageing ex-Soviet Tupolevs is an unwise activity, claimed the lives of 97 people including President Lech Kaczynski. His death, while deemed tragic by other world leaders, is being celebrated by homosexuals throughout Poland and anyone who feels that a "traditionalist Catholic" right-wing government might be a bit repressive.
Poland has faced many problems since the communist regime established shortly after World War 2 came to an end, many of them ongoing. This has led international observers to raise concerns suggesting that the loss of its leaders means that the country now faces its biggest crisis in recent history. Germany has been the first to offer help and has created a special task force of aid workers led by Walther von Brauchitsch will move into Poland later today, bringing several tons of supplies to sustain themselves during their stay so as not to place an undue strain on the fragile Polish economy. One of the major problems facing Poland is the fear caused by the Tourism industry. Several laws have been implemented to avoid chaos. One of them being that no more than 10 foreigners can travel together as a pack. Regardless, the Country is suffering a cultural and financial disaster by implementing those.
"Ve, der German High Kommand, are üniquely placed to move into Poland und to offer help vonce ve are there," says von Brauchitsch, a general in the Germany Army. "Already ve haß müch experience in dere land und ve haff a number of vehicles available along der border vhich can transport our, I mean aid vorkers into Varsaw."
However, no matter how well-intentioned, German aid is not universally welcome among Poles - Germany has, after all, an unenviable reputation when it comes to reorganising the governments of European nations. General von Brauchitsch is quick to deal with Polish worries. "Ve vill begin vith a team of Schützen vorkers who vill move around der country ensuring dat all Poles ünderstand vot it is ve are trying to achieve und dat ve are zer to invade...Gott in Himmel, I mean aid them," he explains. "Those that vork vith us vill be amply rewarded, those that are ünvilling vill be...persuaded. Ve vill also deal vith any ündesirable elements vhich might vant to take advantage of der sitüation and turn it to zer own advantage."
Germany's task will be made far easier due to the fact that much of the infrastructure put into place during its previous Polish projects, dating from the 1940s, remains in place and can be made operational at short notice. A Polish government spokesman, Krzysztof Grzybkiewicz-Bezwzględny, claimed that many installations had been mothballed by Kaczynski's government for future use, including a number of internment facilities that can be used to incarcerate those suspected of profiting from Poland's crisis and other people deemed to have committed criminal acts by the Polish government and German aid teams. "Kaczynski's Prawo i Sprawiedliwosc party had made sure much of what the Germans left behind could be reused at some time in the future, just as soon as the European Conservatives and Reformists group of which they were part achieved dominance in the European Parliament," he told UnNews in an exclusive interview. "Once that had been accomplished, they planned with their EU colleagues to create a Europe-wide political entity which would address many of the problems facing the continent."
France, Norway, Finland, the Benelux countries, Greece, a large chunk of North Africa and all nations in Eastern Europe are believed to have grounded their Tupolev fleets as a precautionary measure.
Several thousand crates similar to this one, are stacked on the runway at Berlin Airport ready for transportation.

You Madam, are some Bad Candy

Right, so, now we've found the aliens can we get on with the building of Death Stars and the like?

Here, in the New Scientist

An unknown object in the nearby galaxy M82 has started sending out radio waves, and the emission does not look like anything seen anywhere in the universe before.
"We don't know what it is," says co-discoverer Tom Muxlow of Jodrell Bank Centre for Astrophysics near Macclesfield, UK

Saturday, 17 April 2010

On Litigation

Wise is the man that knows when to fight. Wiser is the man that knows when to just shut the fuck up.
Sun Tzu

Wednesday, 14 April 2010

Tits are awesome

In Manchester a Vote for the Tories is a wasted vote

Central Manchester ward, Tony Lloyd, the not entirely terrible but still too HMG loyal has about a 15,000 majority. 

The Tories? well they're not even trying, got a parachuted kid from London who they've trained to say, "yer ar kid come on United"

So the only option is to vote Lib Dem and hope like fcuk everyone else in the ward realises this so we can at least get rid of fucking ID cards.

Tuesday, 13 April 2010

Please don't call children obese!

They might get offended and actually fucking do something about their eating habits then and we sure as fuck can't have that!

Maths proves women are evil

Mathematic proof that Women are evil

first, we state that women require time and money:

Women = time * money

...and as we all know, "time is money":

Time = Money

...and therefore:

Women = Money * Money = (Money)^2

...and because "Money is the root of all evil":

Money = sqrt(evil)


Women = (sqrt[evil])^2

...and we are forced to conclude that:

Women = Evil 

Saturday, 10 April 2010

"The Menaissance" by Brett McKay

The A - Z of Awesomeness!

On Pic n Mix

I have a problem, I see the pic n mix and a sort of mist descends, suddenly the wallet is £15 lighter and I'm bouncing up and down in my cinema seat on a sugar rush that would make a scumbag kid from a sink estate with ADHD blush.
And don't get me started on the come down the morning after....
Oh dear, pic n mix, we were supposed to have a new deal.

Thursday, 8 April 2010

Well that's odd, I mean, I thought everyone had heard by now...


Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in that grey twilight that knows neither victory nor defeat.

Theodore Roosevelt Speech at the Hamilton Club, Chicago

Friday, 2 April 2010

Dear Facebook

It's bad enough when you recommend repulsive, vacuous, fucks that I vaguely know through the Mrs or from the bad old days of the orphanage but when you start recommending fucking random knowns of knowns you are going too fucking far.

So let me be clear, I am an educated man, despite the best efforts of the malevolent forces which have ever dogged my steps and cannot bear to see a man get up off his fucking knees, I understand that the little search box in the top corner let's me 'search' for things, presumably on your name based website, for the names of people I might know. 

I am also, via the power of my own fucking mind, able to remember the names of the handful of people I am prepared to tolerate sharing oxygen with. Therefore there is literally no reason at all for you to constantly prod and push me to make friends with people, unless you have taken it upon yourself to cater only to the ultra moronic (which seems entirely possible) or you have again taken it upon yourself to be some sort of mother figure who insists you play nice with all the smelly kids you hate.

I suppose what I am really building to here is essentially to say FACEBOOK! GET FUCKED!

The A - Z of Awesomeness!

On Freedom and Education

We must not believe the many, who say that only free people ought to be educated, but we should rather believe the philosophers who say that only the educated are free.