Nanny Bill in Queens Speach

The Nanny Bill is being seen as the centre piece of the Queen's Speech intended to win back support from voters.


The Government will announce that it is pressing ahead with many of the demented pleas for attention in a report for Mr Cameron by Reg Bailey, chief executive of the Mothers’ Union. When asked why a Tory would give a flying fcuk about what a Union wants Mr Cameron sort of scowled a bit and waved his hands before asking if we liked his tie.

Reg's review arbirarily decided that Britain is increasingly a society full of sexualised imagery, where families do not feel in control. Reg later defined Families as 'middle class mothers with arts degrees who used to do non jobs at the council but have since been cut and who the coalition might want to win back with some half arsed off the hoof policy making'

Mr Cameron said in an interview with the Daily Mail: ‘Parents want to have their children properly protected and really can't be fcuked to do it themselves. They want children to have a childhood, so long as it does not involve playing outside where the peados will get them, they want to treat children like children and for some reason apparently can't because of that Rhianna dancing around"

‘Reg Bailey has done good work right across the board, whether it’s videos, video games, music videos, street adverts or video adverts just trying to turn the dial back a bit on over-sexualisation and allowing children to behave like children.’

When queried whether 'across the board' seemed to include a suspicously high reference to things which were Videos Mr Cameron launched into a tirade about how not all videos are the same just because the come up on the already apparently regulated TV.

On Fat Jackie Smith's current attempt to get back into the headlines, internet porn, Mr Cameron said he wanted ‘literally the first stupid idea that sounds like it would work’ to protect children. ‘The experts have been telling us that prompting parents is the best way to get a result, because active choices make people think. But if there’s a chance of some sort of half arsed central censorship quick fix then I think that’s worth consulting on too. It may be the very best is a combination of firewalls and our snooping law, which we used to oppose but then renamed and are determined to bring in, also Fcuk having the House of Lords elected, how the hell would we get this shitt through 2 elected chambers!.’

(I'm not even making this up, much, scroll down to 'an end to the tidal wave of filth' tucked away on the fcuking Mail's site here)