Readers want Spaced Quotes says Mr November

And in the uber bastard capitalist world of me, the customer gets what they want!

Bilbo Bagshot: I was like you once. Blonde hair. Scraggly little beard. Childlike ears. Full of beans, and spunk. I let my principles get in the way of things. I once punched a bloke out once for saying Hawk the Slayer was rubbish.

Tim: Good for you.

Bilbo Bagshot: Yeah, thanks. But that's not the point, Tim. The point is I was defending the fantasy genre with terminal intensity, when what I should have said was "Dad, you're right - but let's give Krull a try, and we'll discuss it later." [pause] The Phantom Menace was eighteen months ago, Tim!

Tim: I know Bilbo, but... it still hurts, you know? I mean, that kid wanted a Jar Jar doll!

Bilbo: Kids like Jar Jar!

Tim: Why?

Bilbo Bagshot: What about the Ewoks eh? They were rubbish. You don't complain about them.

Tim: Yeah but Jar Jar Binks makes the Ewoks look like... fuckin'... Shaft.

POKER NAKED SEX LOHAN GIRLS 9/11 CONSPIRACY PARIS HILTON X FACTOR

An experiment to see if this will generate a load of traffic and thus up the blog views.

Then I get me some adverts and watch the green roll in!

*update, views have jumped up by 10

*update 2, views have jumped a fruther 10 to 120?!

On leaving school I got a certificate which said Sumo makes friends easily. I did not do so well with grades but they wanted me to have something.

So this is a bit of a kick in the Nuts

You, Madam, are some Bad Candy

Dear HMG, Cops, Local Councils, Quangos and sundry other executive lickspittles, oh and the spineless parliament that is supposed to reign them in

YOU ARE ALL CUNTS

here

here

here

here

to name but a few of the recent gangfucks you have all presided over or instigated.

also

Did I mention you are all cunts?

I love Scotch, Scotchy Scotch Scotch, here it goes down, down into my belly!

Women, you can't drown them all

From the truly awesome Spaced

Brian: Can I borrow a tea-bag?
Tim: [sarcastically] Only if you bring it back. [pauses] You can HAVE a tea-bag, Brian, you can't borrow one. [turns around, sees Brian dressed as a painting] You've got paint on you.
Brian: It's a literal tribute to the self reflexivity of Rembrandt.
Tim: Did he like it?
Brian: He's dead.
Tim: Bloody hell, that really backfired.
Brian: What are you playing?
Tim: Tomb Raider 3.
Brian: She's drowning.
Tim: Yeah.
Brian: Is that the point of the game?
Tim: Depends what mood you're in really.
Brian: What sort of mood are you in then?
Tim: Well, I got a letter from my ex-girlfriend this morning, 3 months too late, explaining why she dumped me. It was full of 'you'll always be special' and 'I'll always love you' platitudes designed to make me feel better whilst simultaneously appeasing her deep seated sense of guilt for dumping me, running off with a slimy little city boy called Duane and destroying my faith in everything which is good and pure.
Brian: So it didn't really work then.

Tim: No, it made me wanna drown things!

The Mrs has gone out and I, for one, am cranking this bad boy up!

Why I suck at Pool /The twisted mind games Women play

I often asked, Sumo old son, how is it with your incomparable prowess in all the myriad fields of human endeavour that a skinny fucking girl can beat you at pool. What these gentle enquirers fail to appreciate is just how far a woman will go to distract you in order to 1 win at pool and 2 get her self some prime scotch beef to wrap her shapely legs around!

I have tits I deserve to steal!

Reforms to the discredited system of House of Commons expenses would place women at risk of sexual assault, a group of female MPs has said.

How fucking thick do you have to be to not understand that the tax payer has had enough of MPs taking the fucking piss and stealing money to feather their own nests.

in a letter to The Times, backbench Labour MPs Claire Curtis-Thomas, Kali Mountford and Phyllis Starkey, along with Tories Jacqui Lait and Eleanor Laing, said that the Kelly report failed to “address the fact that MPs are, in effect, shift workers”

Shift workers! with Fridays off and 82 days Holiday over the summer and free fucking parking! And if course not to mention that all shift workers in the UK automatically get a 2nd home paid for by their employer least the shitty public transport system that some useless ovary warmer MP has cunted up isn't up to the job of getting them home!

Two of the three Labour MPs who have put their names to the letter have announced that they will be standing down at the next election.

Which is even fucking better. Because it means that these flesh wastes are taking the heat for their mates (prolly mentalist in chief Harriet Oh I do so wish I had a Cock and Balls of my own to torture Harman) who have pushed them forward and put them up to it.

MPs hate the thieving fucks or ignore them you have to agree they are all totally fucking clueless and useless.