Wednesday, 13 April 2011

I do like the I.T. Crowd

[Jen looks at small black box equipped with a single red LED light in the middle of the top side. Moss stands next to her.]

Jen: What is it?

Moss: This, Jen, is the Internet.

Jen: What?

Moss: That's right.

Jen: This is the Internet? [Moss nods] [suspiciously] the whole Internet?

Moss: Yep. I asked for a loan of it, so that you could use it in your speech.

Jen: It's so small...

Moss: That's one of the surprising things about it.

Jen: ...Hang on, it doesn't have any wires or anything...

Moss: [rolling his eyes] It's wireless!

Jen: Oh, yes, everything's wireless these days ,isnt it? So i can really use it in my speech? What if someone needs it?

Moss: Oh no, people will still be able to go online and everything; it'll still work.

Jen: Oh, good.

Moss: I tell you: you present this to the shareholders, and you'll get quite the response.

Jen: Can I touch it? [Moss nods; Jen picks the box up] Ooh, it's so light.

Moss: Of course it is, Jen! The internet doesn't weigh anything!

Jen: [laugh] No, no, of course it doesn't! [laugh]

[Roy enters the room]

Roy: (irritated) Hey! What is Jen doing with the Internet?

Jen: Moss said I could use it for my speech.

Roy: Are you insane? What if she drops it?

Jen: I won't drop it, I'll look after it!

Roy: No. No, no, no, no, Jen. [Takes the box back from Jen.] No, this needs to go straight back to Big Ben.

Jen: Big Ben?

Moss: Yep. It goes on top of Big Ben. That's where you get the best reception.

Jen: I promise I won't let anything happen to it.

Roy: No, Jen, I'm sorry. [Jen becomes woeful.] The Elders of the Internet would never stand for it.

Moss: Oh no, I spoke to the Elders of the Internet not one hour ago, I told them about Jen winning Employee of the Month, and they were so impressed, that they wanted to do whatever they could to help.

Jen: [supsciously] Wait a minute, the "Elders of the Internet"!? [shocked] The Elders of the Internet know who I am!? You've got to let me have it!

Roy: No, Jen, I'm sorry, it's just too risky!

Jen: Oh, please, Roy!

Roy: [resignedly] Well, Moss, has it been completely demagnetised?

Moss: By Stephen Hawking himself. [to Jen] He sends his congratulations, by the way.

Roy: Well, if it's okay with the Hawk...

Jen: So, can I have it?

Roy: You can.

[Roy and Moss dramatically give the box to Jen, reminding her to pick her speech up and carry the box carefully. As soon as she leaves the room, Roy and Moss dance happily]

(This actually reminds me of a conversation I had with a one time boss the White Book - I wouldn't have minded but it was in 2007)

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