On George Carlin

Here's some bumper stickers I'd like to see:

• We are the proud parents of a child whose self esteem is sufficient that he doesn't need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car.
• We are the proud parents of a child who has resisted his teachers' attempts to break his spirit and bend him to the will of his corporate masters.
• We have a daughter in public school who hasn't been knocked up yet.
• We have a son in public school who hasn't shot any of his classmates yet. But he does sell drugs to your honor student. Plus he knocked up your daughter.
• We are the embarrassed parents of a cross-eyed little nit-wit who at the age of ten not only continues to wet the bed but also shits on the school bus.