Sunday 16 May 2010

So yeah, The Coming Big Society, oh dear, where to start?

They say if you give a man a fish, he’ll eat for a day, but if you teach a man to fish…. then he’s godda get a fishing licence, but he doesn’t have any money. So he’s got to get a job and get into the national insurance system and pay taxes, and now you’re gonna audit the poor guy, coz’ he’s not really good with maths. So you’ll pull the HMRC van up to his house, and HMRC'll take all your shit. They’ll take your black velvet Elvis and your Batman toothbrush, and your penis pump, and that all goes up for auction with the burden of proof on you because you forgot to carry the one, coz’ you were just worried about eating a fucking fish, and you couldn’t even cook the fish coz’ you needed a permit for an open flame. Then Defra is going to start asking you a lot of questions about where are you going to dump the scales and the guts. ‘This is not a sanitary environment’, and ladies and gentlemen if you get sick of it all at the end of the day… not even legal to kill yourself in this country. Thanks again. You were born free, you got fucked out of half of it, and you wave a flag celebrating. The only true freedom you find, is when you realize and come to terms with the fact that you are completely and unapologetically fucked, and then you are free to float around the system.

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