I am Duncan Phebus Sumo Mercutius Steerpike Campbell King, Litigator extraordinaire and I do not want you to like me.
Tuesday, 8 December 2009
Pre Budget Report Predictions
bankers to continue whining like the miners that they will go out of business if they do what the HMG shareholders want (maybe don't get nationalised in the first place!)
101% tax on anyone not an MP and earning more than £5 a year
money for families, especially the ones that have 18 kids already prowling the streets and feeding on grannies
money for grannies to buy tasers
anyone who had the audacity to slog through higher education, has not got married, is not part of a special interest lobby group and actually works is to grab their ankles again and please not move out of the UK first chance they get as they are the only people keeping the festering shitt hole afloat
more cash for the 3rd world in case it sinks, the maldives in particular where the president wants cash cause the sea level is going to rise by 8 metres, which is actually impossible and does not take into account the 20cm it dropped in the 70s or the 50cm it was higher than it is now in the 1600s when people seemed to do just fine
plenty cash for David Lammy's plan to reintroduce slavery
extra cash for MOD bonuses, equipment to be cut and an island nation utterly dependant on it's navy for defence to have it's navy cut
I eat too much, I swear too much, I hit too many children with a stout stick and I poke too many old ladies out of the way as they shuffle forth to their respective doom. Arguably (though not by me) I drown too many women too.