I just found My first (ep?) Single, oh dear, I like to think I've changed...

Aaaargh! the Media is making Kids like sex!

It's like rock n roll over again!

Or raves!

Or Rap!

but rolled into one big clusterfuck of disinterested parents who have no fucking clue or care what their kids are up to and need someone to point the finger at (blame Canada anyone?)

I do not need the Breakfast news bleating this shit at me first thing in a morning!

NATO Air Strike Kills 190,000 Civilians

KABUL, Afghanistan -- Afghan officials said at least 190,000 civilians were killed by a NATO nuke detonated over Eastern Afghanistan. NATO confirmed that it fired a Tomahawk cruise missile tipped with a W80 thermonuclear warhead on an area it believed contained insurgents, only to discover later that women and children were also in the area.

NATO did not provide a casualty figure. The head of the provincial council for Eastern Afghanistan said 190,000 people were killed in the strike. Interior Ministry spokesman Zemeri Bashary said he had reports of 270,000 deaths, adding that there were 420,000 civilians in the area.

This is the first nuclear strike since the end of WWII, when Nagasaki and Hiroshima nuked the USA. W80 is a small thermonuclear warhead (fusion weapon) in the rusting stockpile with an explosive yield of 150 KT TNT – delivered by cruise missile.

Col. Willy (Mack) Parsons, head of Eastern Command, said, “It was a bullseye! Bamiyan! We nailed those goddamn Taliban, that'll teach them for attacking us. Thing is, they use women and children as ‘human shields’ – so what can we do to prevent that? It’s simply ‘collateral damage’ – because war is hell.”

Parsons estimated they killed at least 200 hard-core Taliban fighters. “And that’s a lot of bad guys in one shot!” - bragged Col. Willy. “It sure as hell beats those surgical strikes! Our motto is, 'Kill ‘em all, let God sort ‘em out!' – so I guess Allah or Ali, or what-ever his name is, has his hands full today!”

At a news brief given later, President Obama told reporters, “Listen, I never authorized the use of nuclear weapons, and I assure you it’s just lies and false propaganda."

Obama confirmed, "I repeat, I did not have nuclear relations with that country!”

And you are surprised why?

Cause if I lived on Lewis I'd want to be able to leg it on a Sunday when the nutters were out in full force too.

Link

Yeah! Busyiness (Buseeeness? Business?)

Fuck it

the point is I am up to my tits in disclosure folders

Happy as a pig in shit

I hate Dan Hull

I hate Dan Hull

I hate Dan Hull

I hate Dan Hull

Because he is always fucking right,

I mean structure--a real standard for working--and "practicing structure" every day. It's the discipline of: (1) having a plan or strategy for any one project (client or non-client), (2) meeting internal project deadlines (not just "jurisdictional" ones) no matter what, and (3) insisting that everyone in your shop "buy into" the discipline of keeping to that overall plan or strategy and timetable.

"Structure" is not just the hard process of getting things done. It's a frame of mind and a value which must be sold to others in your shop--like the importance of making that 5 minute call to a client about a loose end at the end of the worst day you can remember, even while you could do it the next morning at 8:00. It's realizing that letting anything but emergency tasks "slide" makes you inefficient, unlikely to meet your real goals, and tired.

*sigh* fucker

Tits are awesome (Winter Olympics Special)

Sarah Burke (born 1982) is a Canadian freestyle skier who grew up in Midland, Ontario, Canada. She now resides in Whistler, British Columbia.

AAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh! Why are people so dumb! why, why are you dumb! what the fuck is wrong with you!

The latest thing to spark this all too increasingly often fit of screaming is THIS, the shiny new Pink Ouija board for girls complete with snazzy carry case.

Now first off there are some issues in itself in selling a supposed tool to contact the dead to children. But the real issue is the backlash from the moronic desperate to live in a fantasy spirit world, where they can change things without effort or work or struggle for one where waving a fucking lump of quartz or shuffling some cards will bring them success, boobs happiness boobs, wealth boobs and boobs.

Just look at the reactions to this bluddy nonsense from indignant Occult Blogger

Whether or not the kids know how to use it, the Ouija board was developed on many years of learning what worked best with spirits from trial and error to make a spirit communication tool.. What would they think, now knowing it is seen like a toy or a joke..?

Oh, yeah, it's clearly Hasbro taking a power drill and giving it to some kids. No you fucking idiot! It's a twisted version of scrabble.

But then you have this hand wringing doomsday scenario, from Catholic Dialogue

This is very alarming. LifeSiteNews.com reports that Hasbro has produced a Ouija board for kids that is being sold at Toys R Us stores.

Ouija boards, like all forms of occult, expose the soul to demons. This is no laughing matter. This is dead serious and it must be stopped. Please join the boycott of Hasbro.

So, just to clear up this soul (ha, you see what I did) find the Derren Brown Seance, 4OD or youtube must have it, watch it and see why it is all bollocks and yet another crutch for the moronic.

And

If you don't want your kids to have a Ouija board, either because you are a nut who thinks they will summon some sort of Demonic presence or because you are me and cannot abide to see children have fun if it is with something that encourages them to become criminally stupid, THEN DON'T FUCKING BUY THEM IT YOU STUPID FUCKS! YOU ARE A PARENT YOU HAVE THE CASH AND YOU SET THE RULES FOR FUCK SAKE GROW A FUCKING SPINE!

Valentines Expose in the Times of Wrath

Charlie Brooker on Aspiration

Aspirational programming doesn't serve a purpose. It just feeds the void, the sense of lack, the gulf between them and you. It stokes it up and up and up like a low self-esteem engine until finally where can you turn for a solution...[pointing to a homeless alcoholic (really an actor)] where d'ya think?...

The solution being change yourself. Yeah! Toss your wardrobe out, wear the same uniform as the rest of us! Or look how smouldering and happy Nigella is, maybe cookery'll save you. Or saw your face off and get it remade properly! Yeah, maybe that'll help, maybe then you'll fit in! Surely it's a rum state of affairs when TV actively encourages you to hack yourself apart in the name of self-worth! I mean, hacking up a stranger, that I can understand, but this is just sick!"

Balls to aspiration, it's a tosser's mirage.

Kevin Smith too Fat to fly, booted from Plane?

What the fuck? he's not even that fat, I'm fatter, mainly because every time I see an obesity advert I reach for a hamburger, a deep fried, battered one at that.

From ABC news here.

Actor-director Kevin Smith has made a career by saying nothing as the character Silent Bob in hit movies such as "Clerks" and "Mallrats." But the comedian has had plenty to say on Twitter after Southwest Airlines removed him from a flight Saturday for being too fat.

Smith, 39, has responded with the ultimate "tweak out," flooding his Twitter page with angry messages against the airline.

His first tweet read, "Dear @SouthwestAir I know I'm fat, but was [the] captain […] really justified in throwing me off a flight for which I was already seated?"

In accordance with Southwest's "customers of size" policy, Smith had purchased two tickets but then stood by for an earlier flight, which had one seat remaining. That is when the airline forced him off the plane.

Broken Britain has 54% of teenage girls pregnant before 18!

Except

It 1, it isn't broken (although possibly broke though) and 2, Britain doesn't have 54% of girls getting knocked up before 18. You'd think such a statistic would probably be quite noticeable from simply looking at the number of prams being pushed round the playground. From the New Statesman here.

In fact, the DCSF figures show that in the areas concerned, 54.32 per 1000 women aged 15-17 years old fell pregnant, which gives us a figure of 5.4 per cent, not 54 per cent.

Which is genius and means that both, the great election winning strategic brain of George Osborne (I recall much the same being said of Gordon Brown 20 years ago) is only a great strategic brain when compared to politicians, i.e. struggles to hold up to scrutiny from a 5 year old and, that the Tories, can't actually count.

This was clearly more cock-up than conspiracy: someone at CCHQ left a decimal point out. But what's more extraordinary is that no one sounded the alarm and pointed out that, regardless of your maths ability, 54 per cent is not a plausible figure. The fact the figure was repeated three times makes this failure even more remarkable.

Ultimately this means that Nu Labour and Yellow Labour, sorry, the Lib Dems can happily proclaim that nothing is wrong with the UK under the mad erosion of responsibility and rights and that the vastly exaggerated negative campaigning of Blue Labour, sorry, the Tory's is a made up cut and paste of Blade Runner rather than the reality of a country that needs to stop and think how to get rid of the baby boomers and how it goes forward and gets rich by selling a ton of crap to Chinese and Indian folk what currently have nowt.

Adam Curtis ('The Power of Nightmares'’) with a short film about paranoia and why we don’t trust anyone anymore.

Tits are awesome

Text of the Correspondence between Home Office and Court in Binyam Mohammed Case

(copied from the Guardian which has some analysis here)

8 February 2010

Dear Sirs,

Case No.: TI/2009/2331/QBACF: R (Binyam Mohammed) v. Secretary of State for Foreign and Commonwealth Affairs

Judgment is due to be delivered in this case on Wednesday 10 February 2010. The Court will be receiving a separate letter about typing corrections and other obvious errors. The purpose of this present letter is to deal with an important matter of substance, which I would invite the Court to consider before handing down their judgment in final form. I would be grateful if you would lay it before them.

At paragraph 168 of his Judgment, the Master of the Rolls makes some observations about the previous 'form' of SyS. I assume from the context that he is referring to the Security Service, although in paragraph 64 the Master of the Rolls defines SyS as including the Secret Intelligence Service as well, and a reader less familiar with the context might assume that he was referring to both.

The Master of the Rolls's observations, to whichever service they relate, are likely to receive more public attention than any other part of the judgments. They will be read as statements by the Court (i) that the Security Service does not in fact operate a culture that respects human rights or abjures participation in coercive interrogation techniques; (ii) that this was in particular true of Witness B whose conduct was in this respect characteristic of the service as a whole ('it appears likely that there were others'); (iii) that officials of the Service deliberately misled the Intelligence and Security Committee on this point; (iv) that this reflects a culture of suppression in its dealings with the Committee, the Foreign Secretary and indirectly the Court, which penetrates the service to such a degree as to undermine any UK government assurances based on the Service's information and advice; and (v) that the Service has an interest in suppressing information which is shared, not by the Foreign Secretary himself (whose good faith is accepted), but by the Foreign Office for which he is responsible.

The first point that I would make about this is that the conduct of Witness B, was referred by the Attorney-General to the Crown Prosecution Service and is currently under investigation by the police. If the observations in the draft Judgment appear in the final version, the publicity likely to be given to them would be highly prejudicial to any criminal proceedings that might subsequently be brought, as well as to the current civil proceedings brought against the United Kingdom Government by Binyam Mohammed among others.

More generally, the Master of the Rolls' observations, which go well beyond anything found by the Divisional Court, constitute an exceptionally damaging criticism of the good faith of the Security Service as a whole. In particular, the suggestion that the Court should distrust any UK government assurance based on the Service's advice and information will unquestionably be cited in other cases and, if applied more widely, would mark an unprecedented breakdown in relations between the Courts and the executive in the area of public interest immunity. The statements of ministers in this area, although embodying their own judgements, are often necessarily based on the information and advice of the Security Service. I am bound to suggest, which I do with genuine and not just forensic. respect, that such grave criticisms of a public service and those who work in it should be made only if the issue is fairly raised in advance and the Court has an exact knowledge of the relevant circumstances. To categorise a problem as systemic is rarely a straightforward matter. In this case, it would be necessary at the very least to examine the methods and procedures of the Security Service in relation to the interviewing of detainees as well as the giving of information and advice to ministers; the basis on which the statement to the Intelligence and Security Committee was made, and what further information was provided to them, in particular about the treatment of detainees; what (if any) other instances there are of the Service's knowledge of ill-treatment of detainees interviewed by them, how information of this kind is stored, on what occasions it is retrieved, how widely it is disseminated within the Service and what the Service's response was. The Court has not been in a position to do any of this. It simply does not have the material. Even if it had, ordinary considerations of natural justice would suggest that those responsible for the management of the Security Service should have had a proper opportunity to respond. No submission as extreme as this was made during the hearing, let alone supported by evidence. The Service has received no notice whatever of the Court's intention to make such sweeping criticisms.

As to the statement that the Foreign Office has an interest in suppressing

information, in its present form this reads like an accusation of bad faith against those Foreign Office officials who have advised the Foreign Secretary. It may be that this was not intended. Certainly I am not aware of any material before the Court whic suggests that such an interest exists, or that any Foreign Office official has allowed it to influence advice given in the public interest to the Foreign Secretary, in this or any other case.

I respectfully invite the Court to reconsider whether paragraph 168 is necessary to its decision, and whether it really does justice to those involved.

Yours faithfully,

Jonathan SUMPTION Q.C.

cc. Nicola Smith, Treasury Solicitor

Dinah Rose QC

Vital Litigation Tactics Bulletin in today's Times of Wrath

So joining the Chewbacca Defence and the I'm a CCTV operator defence we have the Malkinus Non Disclosure Defence. I shall have to paste this into the back of my Clausewitz.

I wonder if they need any angry litigators

Iceland could become a "journalism haven" if a proposal put forward by some Icelandic MPs aided by whistle-blowing website Wikileaks succeeds.

It's cold and pretty miserable and you can say what you like, here.

So pretty much perfect for me, cheerio UK, fcuk you, fcuk your taxing me for not joining any special little tax exempt club or getting together with my swarthy mates to form an important voting block or screaming about the fcuking pandas!

Fcuk you for constantly telling me I need to help people better off than me and worse off than me while I've got to do everything myself. You don't give a fcuk about me, so I don't give a fcuk about you.

(edit, on reading this back it all sounds like the run up to some sort of super villain spree of vengeance on the uncaring state......)

Battleships are cool an occasional series

The Tegetthoff class (sometimes called Viribus Unitis class) was the sole class of dreadnought battleship built for the Austro-Hungarian navy. Four ships were built, SMS Viribus Unitis, SMS Tegetthoff, SMS Prinz Eugen and SMS Szent Istvan.

The Austrian government ordered the construction of a new fleet in 1908 following the announcement of the start of construction of first dreadnought for the Regia Marina (the Italian navy): the RN Dante Alighieri. The chief designer of the Austro-Hungarian navy, Siegfried Popper, was nearly blind at this stage (he was retired before the ships were launched), and some have blamed this for design deficiencies of the class of ships. The ships of this class were among the first ships to utilize triple gun turrets for its main armament

The Austro-Hungarian navy saw little action during the First World War, spending much of its time in its base at Pola (now Pula, Croatia), but the mere fact of its existence tied up the Italian and French navies in the Mediterranean for the duration of the war. The navy's general inactivity was partly caused by a lack of coal, which as the war progressed became a problem, and partly by a fear of mines in the Adriatic, which also kept the Italian navy in port for most of the war.

In 1918 Admiral Miklós Horthy de Nagybánya became rear admiral of the fleet, and he determined to use the fleet to attack the Otranto Barrage. On 8 June 1918 he took the Viribus Unitis and Prinz Eugen south with a small supporting flotilla; on the evening of 9 June Szent Istvan and Tegetthoff followed. Unfortunately in trying to make maximum speed in order to catch up, Szent Istvan's turbines started to overheat and speed had to be reduced to 12 knots (22 km/h). When an attempt was made to raise more steam in order to increase to 16 knots (30 km/h) Szent Istvan produced a lot of smoke, which at 3.20 a.m. on 10 June attracted the attention of a pair of patrolling Italian torpedo boats. MAS-21 attacked Tegetthoff, but one of her torpedoes failed to leave the launch tube and the other failed to explode. MAS-15 however succeeded in striking Szent Istvan with two torpedoes at 3:31 a.m. The Tegetthof returned to the scene to take the Szent Istvan in tow. An attempt to beach the ship on nearby Molat island (northwest of Zara) was considered, but the ship was taking on too much water. At 6:12 a.m., with the pumps unequal to the task, Szent Istvan capsized, taking 89 of her crew with her. The last half-hour of the sinking was filmed in stages from the Tegetthoff (one of only two battleship sinkings on the high seas to ever be filmed, the other being that of the British battleship HMS Barham in the Second World War). Fearing further attacks by torpedo boats or destroyers from the Italian navy, his element of surprise now destroyed, Admiral Horthy called off the attack and the fleet returned to base for the rest of the war.

The EU is a Superstate (vague attempt at uncontroversial seriousness)

For a fuck of a a long time people have been kidding themselves that this was not either going to happen or had happened. On the right there was some notion that a bit of UKIP flag waving would keep integration at bay and on the left there was a notion that integration somehow didn't mean that a huge federal country was being birthed.

I'm not entirely sure where I stand on this, being Scottish I don't really see how a merrily federal UK can argue against a federal EU, it's really just a bigger even shitter Westminster, and it always sounds like big fish arguing about keeping a small pond to play king in.

On the other hand, the EU has grown up through dodgy political deals, backhanders, corruption that would make a Sicilian Grandmother blush and stop gap creaking make do provisions.

The point I am slowly trudging towards is that today, we have the EU president essentially coming out and saying the Greek debt = EU debt and the EU will back it up.

What we need is to stop hoping that ear muffs and loudly singing will make the EU go away and instead do what we should have been doing 30 years ago and trying to forge a very loose version of America, the sort of America envisaged when the colonies got together and begrudgingly formed a federal government which quickly became a monster.

What Britain needs is going into the next election is someone who can turn the UK into the powerhouse of the EU, with (spits) London as the New York.

PedoBear attends 2010 Winter Olympics?

Polish newspaper, The Gazeta Olsztynska, mistakenly identified "Pedobear", the friendly internet meme loved by all, as one of the mascots of the 2010 Winter Olympics in Vancouver.

The press, love em or hate, you have to admit they are utterly fucking awful at their jobs.

Applause for the peerless Mr Bungle

Hurrah another poster that says fuck all, just what we need!

If you really are a bored as me, then make your own here

Fancy a career change?

A MURDER case in Tokyo exposed Japan's custom of hiring marriage wreckers, agents who are paid to seduce one half of a couple and cause them to split.

Yeah, so, essentially, not content with most of the world thinking "fuck me this camera is tiny, how do a people so brazenly, unashamedly mental make such good stuff (possibly with the exception of braking systems)" It turns out that in Japan if you want a divorce you just pop down to the local gigolo office and hire a bloke to follow your mrs, seduce her and then you can bin her.

To be fair, I can think of much much worse jobs, most of which are, granted, in the truly horrific legal industry, then getting paid to wander round Kyoto brutally violating married Japanese women. Taxi to the airport for King I think.

full story, here.

Cosplay Tits are Awesome

Who cares if her doctor says she is unbalanced and her parents said "Good Luck", point is, you've got your very own Bondage Fairy!

Fucking Panda acting stupid again!

Villagers in southwestern China's Sichuan province discovered a panda stranded on a steep mountain face, apparently too scared to climb down, state media reported Tuesday.

I hope the Sichuan villagers indulged in a bit of stereotype behaviour and swiftly ate the fucking useless, stupid, flea bag thing!

Did you know....

...that Schrödinger's Cat is currently: not alive?

Why the Fuck do people persist in being mental!

Leech therapy, the sticking of blood sucking slugs to yourself (or other people if you have a bit of a minor Vore porn fetish I suppose), is apparently enjoying a resurgence. Sky News merrily trumpets the horror here.

Leeches are swelling in popularity both medically and cosmetically with big-name enthusiasts from the likes of Demi Moore who recently had leeches suck her blood in the name of detox therapy.

A fucked up hollywood, "I'm so dumb I will believe anything a nutter in hemp skirt sells me" fad I could understand but the tag to this story is Leeches Pump Fresh Blood Into Russian Economy. Granted the chance for such a shameless pun is too good to miss, but really? Sky's running a story about oil, gas and mafia mega exporter Russia somehow relying on resurgent fucking slug farms to drag it out of the economic stone age?

Thank fuck for shock therapy eh if this is what it has left us with?

You think?

Nick Hardwick, the head of the Independent Police Complaints Commission, said the greatest threat to the reputation of the police service was “criminals in uniform like Dizaei”.

I suspect that the emphasis is on 'like Dizaei' and essentially means "who try to claim the Met are a bunch of cunts", rather than on 'criminals' which would include the protected fuckers who gunned down Jean Charles De Menezes, released a load of bollocks 'anonymous, a senior police source said' De Menezes was carrying a minigun and screaming "slaughter the orphans" and massaged evidence of what had actually happened.

Or the disgusting shielded fucks that battered news paper seller Ian Tomlinson to death for having the audacity to walk home.

and people wonder why I am so angry.

Torys devolve power to local people...

...by consolidating planning permission, at least for schools, within the executive rather than with the local council.

ah, that kind of devolving power to the people, I was afraid that might be the interpretation. Not surprising from the fuck nuts that fought tooth and nail against devolution to Scotland and Wales.

From the Lady Sack (Patent Pending)

Yes, the legal aid budget is cunted

we know

It's because of the never ending traipse of Quangos and MOJ muppets, the same muppets who think that having 3 regulators/shit unions instead of 1 regulator/shit union is somehow deregulation and will magically open up the last inbred fucking guild in the land to be milked dry and off shored sharpish.

However, it does not follow that where someone is being paid 1 million that they are automatically not value for money. I am painfully aware that plans are afoot to force any decent legal representation out of the criminal courts so the the MOJ's money saving wheeze of dumping advocacy on the in house CPS in the hopes that miraculously paying people fuck all and giving them more work will get politically advantageous results. However that does not justify the implication that legal aid providers should be scouring around for the cheapest least likely to succeed baby wig jockey going.

Unless of course the goal is not to provide jusitce, fair trials, assistance to the people caught up in the Police Target Reign of Terror afflicting the UK and just to massage the crime stats to look like even more people are going on a state sponsored holiday to an over crowded, drug infested, useless waste of a jail.

Hmmm, I fucking wonder.

This is all kinds of fucked up

Cherie Blair/Booth spares religious man jail, here

In her infinite wisdom Cherie Booth has given a bloke who got in an argument about who was where in the queue a suspended sentence, partially, with the bizarre reasoning that he was religious, having just come from his mosque, and as such knew what he did was wrong.

I have a nagging suspicion that this is a throw away turn of phrase in the sentencing that has been blown out of context, but for fuck sake a Judge should be able to think a step ahead and see that someone might pick up on the apparent logical basis of their decision and interpret it differently to how it was originally, genuinely meant.

If they didn't we wouldn't need courts in the first place.

No wonder the costs review is such a cluster fuck of "oh the poor insurance industry" rather than a genuine attempt to create a sensible system. With Judges like this who the fuck needs enemies.

War..., Huuh...., what is it good for?..... well swinging for one

Battleships are cool an (okay, a very) occasional series

USS Iowa (BB-61) ("The Big Stick") was the lead ship of her class of battleship and the fourth in the United States Navy to be named in honour of the 29th state. Owing to the cancellation of the Montana-class battleships, Iowa is the last lead ship of any class of United States battleships, and was the only ship of her class to have served in the Atlantic Ocean during World War II.

During World War II, Iowa served as a presidential shuttle in the Atlantic Fleet, moving President Roosevelt to and from the Tehran conference. When transferred to the Pacific Fleet in 1944, Iowa shelled beachheads at Kwajalein and Eniwetok in advance of Allied amphibious landings and screened aircraft carriers operating in the Marshall Islands. During the Korean War, Iowa was involved in raids on the North Korean coast, after which she was decommissioned into the United States Navy reserve fleets, better known as the "mothball fleet". She was reactivated in 1984 as part of the 600-ship Navy plan, and operated in both the Atlantic and Pacific Fleets to counter the recently expanded Soviet Navy. In April 1989, an explosion of undetermined origin wrecked her #2 gun turret, killing 47 sailors.

Iowa was decommissioned for the last time in 1990, and was initially struck from the Naval Vessel Register in 1995. She was reinstated from 1999 to 2006 to comply with federal laws that required retention and maintenance of two Iowa-class battleships. Iowa is currently berthed with the National Defence Reserve Fleet at Suisun Bay, near San Francisco, California, and is awaiting donation to a not-for-profit entity for use as a museum ship. At present, Iowa is the only member of her class not open to the public.

In The News

• Greece plans financial consolidation by earthquake.
  
  
• Study shows that thin people may actually be fat.
  
  
• Apple unveils new iPhone for giants
  
  
• Ohio boy learns his lesson in ant massacre
  
  
• South Carolina Lt. Gov. Bauer: "Give me 24 Hours - I'll make sure these strays pay for their meals".
  
  
• Painting damaged by that bully Erica Vasser's suspicious "stumble".