Friday, 23 October 2009

The MMF or Monumental Mind Fuck, a weapon used by women and how it was invented

You poor poor fool, clearly being a 3rd world refugee and flocking to the anglo saxon light of civilization has taught you nothing. Fortunately for me I grew up in Glasgow, granted on the streets as part of a pack of feral dogs/ hairy youths, but had the benefit of random preachers, philosophers, demagogues and scientists preaching their knowledge and ideas upon a soap box in george square. It was here that I first came to realise the awful truth and to refine my tactics in the war of the sexes.

A woman you see is small, weak and vulnerable to many things, not least of which is the mammoth, a ferocious burrowing creature which uses it’s great horns to tunnel under the ground before deploying it’s slimy tentacle in a vesuvial eruption from the earth to snatch and devour said feme.

A man is the natural enemy of the mammoth, there is after all good eating on a mammoth and the fur makes for a cool cape. A man may spring at the mammoth seize it’s terrible horns and deliver thunderous head butt after thunderous head butt until the vile creature is slain.

The problem for the lady is how does she harness the ferocity of a gent to keep her safe from the mammoth and indeed the sundry other creatures which may do her harm? She cannot resort to physical oppression as she is weak and feeble. She can try to be alluring but she risks being used and discarded and in such a situation would be tired and even more easily fall prey to predators.

No, what women have developed is the MMF (Monumental Mind Fcuk) where they beguile a gent not by recourse to swaying hips and heaving bosoms (which are merely there to catch the eye) but by deploying invisible mind claws to sink into his brain and enslave him. Initally this would result in a large angry man being on call to attack any predatory creatures such as the afore mentioned mammoth being the main aggressor.

The modern effects are easily seen in an otherwise sane man believing the drivel that spouts from a lady’s mouth, carrying heavy things sometimes without his knowledge, constructing improbably pieces of furniture and indeed handing out the credit card and his hard earned wonga because a bit of hoovering equates to a 12 hour shift down a mine.

Perhaps you have already twigged where I am going with this but I shall lay it out anyway. The problem is that women have gone too far and have so domesticated the majority of men that they are practically women themselves. In the 1950s spontaneous ovary growth in men was at 0.0023% of the population. Today it is at a horrifying 12% and follows an upsurge in mammoth activity to the tune of 45,000 women (and feminine men) being devoured in the last year.

As I previously mentioned I was alerted to this phenomenon at an early age and following much meditation, hitting myself in the head with a hammer and a diet of raw meant, often that of tourists brought down by my fellow feral weegie youths I was able to kill off that part of my brain which the MMF targets. The happy result being that when confronted by even the most alluring of sirens I do not fall victim to their tricks and instead remain able to revert to my own natural comparative advantage which like any proper man is to simply physically out gun a lady and stuff her in a sack while her invisible mind claws thrash helplessly at my dented skull.

I urge you (and indeed anyone who would be a man) to take up a hammer post haste, hit yourself in the head and free yourself from these harpies!

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