Tears of a Litigator

A rehash of Flight of the Concords 'Hurt Feelings'

Some people say that Litigators don’t have feelings
We have feelings. (We have feelings)
Some people say that we are not Litigators. (We’re Litigators.)
That hurts our feelings.(Hurts our feelings when you say we’re not Litigators.)
Some people say that Litigators are invincible
We’re vincible. (We’re vincible.)
What you are about to hear are true stories (Real experiences)
Autobiographical raps.
Things that happened to us, All true
Bring the rhyme!

I make a meal for my friends,
Try to make it delicious,
Try to keep it nutritious,
Create wonderful dishes.
Not one of them thinks about the way I feel
Nobody compliments the meal

I got hurt feelings, I got hurt feelings

I feel like a prize @sshole
No one even mentions my casserole.

I got hurt feelings, I got hurt feelings.
You coulda said something nice about my profiteroles

Here’s a little story to bring a tear to your eye,
I was shopping for a wetsuit to scuba dive,
But every suit I tried is too big around the thighs,
And the assistant suggested I try a ladies’ size

I got hurt feelings, I got hurt feelings
I’m not gonna wear a ladies’ wetsuit I’m a man!

I got hurt feelings, I got hurt feelings
Get me a small man’s wetsuit, please

It’s my birthday, 2003
Waitin’ for a call from my family...
...They forgot about me

I got hurt feelings, I got hurt feelings
The day after my birthday is not my birthday, Mum

I call my friends and say, “Let’s go into town,”
But they’re all too busy to go into town
So I go by myself, I go into town
Then I see all my friends, they’re all in town

I got hurt feelings, I got hurt feelings.
They’re all lined up to watch that movie
“Maid in Manhattan.”

Have you even been told that your @ss is too big?
Have you ever been asked if your hair is a wig?
Have you ever been told you’re mediocre in bed?
Have you ever been told you’ve got a weird-shaped head?
Has your family ever forgotten you and driven away?
Once again, they forgot about J
Were you ever called “homo” ‘cuz at school you took drama?
Have you ever been told that you look like a llama?

Tears of a Litigator (tears of a Litigator),
I’m crying tears of a Litigator
Tears of a Litigator